When I turned 30 or so, we grew closer. And we started to get to know each other again. We spoke on the phone often and visited when we could. One night, just 6 days after seeing him last, I got the call he had suddenly – without warning – died.

I was heartbroken for I felt we had just started over as father and son. It was hard and I know it will be hard for you too. It took me much longer than I ever would have thought to deal with much of the sadness. All I can recommend is be gentle on yourself and give yourself time to deal with your loss.

I remember I was teaching and execing at Computer Learning Center in Los Angeles, and one of my classes wanted to go to Magic Mountain as a group. They’d worked hard, saved my ass a couple of times, and so we went.

We were walking down Wilshire in the mid-morning finalizing travel, all of us still in a group before we went to our respective cars, and I just started bawling, yelling and screaming. Freaked them out. I told them that for some reason they made me feel so wonderful, such a great class that they remimded me of my father, a teacher himself, and I was just releasing pent-up emotion.

I hope that was another lesson for them. Feelings take their own time and live their own lives.

suppositio.us

As a lifelong Londoner, it was good to see some photos of the city as it used to be.

The ship in the sixth picture is the Cutty Sark – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutty_Sark – unfortunately it was partially destroyed by fire in 2007 but it is being restored.

What has constantly surprises and rejoices me is how present the people you lost can be present in your life. My father passed away in 2000 and very frequently, still now 9 years later, I surprise myself coming across a situation, an object, a view which will remind me of him.

I’ll work around the house and realise my father moved that way when going to get tool. My son will look at something and try to figure out how it works, and I’ll immediately see my father’s face.

Somehow it happens more often than when he was alive. Maybe it’s because I should have cared more then, or maybe that’s just what life after death is.