“Every day is father’s day”
I spent most of last week in NY, visiting my parents.
My father has been gravely ill, and as it turns out this was my last visit to see him.
On Saturday morning, yesterday, he died.
He’s had a long decline and plenty of time to prepare for the end. This week we talked honestly and openly about the big things. In June, on his 80th birthday I wrote to him that he was my hero. There was a lot of forgiveness in that statement, over the years, we had focused too much on the bad times, and not enough on the time at the beginning and at the end, which were good, loving, generous and fair.
There’s no doubt my father loved the little boy who looked up to him. There’s no doubt we both had trouble adjusting to the man who took the little boy’s place.
I was lucky that my father lived so long. Yet today there is a huge void, a puzzle, an unknown. How do you fill the space occupied by someone who looms so large.
My father fought for my life when I was young and had a ruptured appendix.
When he discovered the beauty of outliners he said the nicest thing a father can say about a son — “Every day is father’s day.”
Leon Winer was born on June 18, 1929 and died on October 3, 2009.
He will be missed by his family.
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